hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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