Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ketchup is God's man juice
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
