Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
