She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
