her vagine was all disorganized.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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