This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
