as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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