It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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