The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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