Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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