So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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