Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Say something about gay babies.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
