I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
