We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Randomize
