No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize