Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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