dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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