the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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