Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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