Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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