So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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