we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
