Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
