he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
