So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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