He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
