My cat gives me a boner
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
