Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
