Life is so much better after having sex.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
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Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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