I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night