mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.