ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
