Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
