Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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