i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize