who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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