So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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