Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
