you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises