ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter