You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
