Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
