So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
