I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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