we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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