chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
