i would punch a child for taco bell
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
