I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
