He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
