Christians are straight up FREAKS
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
