I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize