just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
