and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
