pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
