we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
