dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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