so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
someone threw a dead crab at me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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