but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
