and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
then he tried to convert me to islam
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
