I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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