doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
