bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
