Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
God I need to hump something, right now.
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